locksmithy

just your valium-addled stay at home vaudevillain, you know?
twat i'm up to to-night. hopefully, anyway!

http://mlle.tumblr.com/post/251207407/wank

x-post from (mlle.tumblr.com) instead of a redirect, just, cos' (i heart you LJ)



edrie snapped this of me last night. i make really creepy maudlin oh woe! poet faces when i play instruments, apparently. emo poetess, getting nude for you, emotionally! i don't know, it is kind of a weird vulnerable candid i'm sharing, because is it trite to say this is kind of how i feel right now inside? i'm live and in the action and doing what i love, everything is going well, but i'm kind of disassociated from it. as someone who has duelled with depression i recognize this as true change about to take place, and my little ego is throwing a regressive tantrum. i'm not going to let it win, everything is really good for me right now. i honestly have no experience with believing in a full sunny side up-egg glowing horizon of hope, and there is a lot of reason to (artistic vom-validation/encouragement?!) right now for my writing, performing, music, art, publishing, monkeying...i could say this is the most hope-ful happy day of my life wrt my arts. i've been invited to have my poetry in a publication (more on that lats). i have finished all the hard work in my grad program, and i'll have my mistress of fine arts degree come january. wot! &i am going on tour with walter sickert & the army of broken toys avec Jaggery in december. we're taking my toymobile/2010 forester, it will fulfill that which it was bought for right after it gets its first oil change, awww. (more tour-ness as we hammer out details & build a steamcrunk automaton bunny?)

at one of my wee jobs to-day i took breaks reading some amazing blogging which parallels a lot of what's on my mind... and i invite you to read them! i don't know how to preface the first, save to say, my mentor, Cate Marvin is a co-Marylander & my punk rock role model of the poetry world. she has started a women's lit. conference and organization, WILLA: Women in letters and literary arts. this interview/blog she & her co-founder wrote covers so many important topics, and reads like an amazing piece of impassioned cultural commentary meets awesome women's nonfiction. i sheddup.


“Your Silence Will Not Protect You”: A Conversation Between WILLA Co-Founders and Co-Directors Erin Belieu and Cate Marvin

Truly Wunderbar: Inside Newcastle's playful new arts festival
reading this reminded me why i do what i do, and how far you can go as a performance artist. &that is to say very very very ;)

>> False Sounds
my bandmate, the musykchyk Rachel Jayson started a new blog &i love every entry so far. she is beautiful, smart, talented and a lot of fun. add to that clever hott blogger. dear rachel, i relate (&i know i'm not the only one) when you say sometimes you feel like you "snuck" into the art rock world, and may be found out and kicked out. i'm convinced this is all of our elementary school selves's constant terror/razor's edge of social cliques BS that somehow always rears its head! anyway, it's stuff & nonsense & stuffed animal stuffing! you will be kept close and tight because we're an art faggy steamcrunk family, and i will try to believe i belong here if you will, too. oh man is this a touchy hippy abusing tumblr-like-a-regular-blog tumble from me...

off to see mehran & rob "roadsteamer" potylo &co. at the middle east soon. here's to cats in your laps, holding you down so you don't float away. oh man, it's one of those utterly strange headspace days. xo

p.s. a p.s. just for you LJ-ers. this post brought in part to you by Rachel's & emlette's writings. thank you ladies for the echo chamber of lady blogging'couragement.

i got to go on a sex-ecological adventure with the one and only Annie Sprinkle to-day (w/ my hotdate communist-lookin' Meff). and i had a differently-sexy (much differently!) but no less badass s'experience at the Jesus Lizard reunion show at the Paradise here in Boston last night. and guess twat? i tumbl'd about it! i'll pop the full flickr gallery link over here, aussi when i finish uploading more from the dirty Boston Gardens. naughty flower beds!

(funtimes)
http://mlle.tumblr.com/post/245353527/sexxx

(my gift to Annie & Denise Duhamel's poem that makes mention)
http://mlle.tumblr.com/post/245363035/poesy


p.s. i hope these redirect-posts aren't annoying. emlette is so kind to post when she updates elsewhere, i just wanted to keep y'all in the loop. better this than ceasing communication with el jay or not blogging at all, roight? eh? guilty much? i sheddup.

meep meep


i'm in a Boston Globe blurb (http://www.snurl.com/lockkey)
and other excited dithering about my arts...

>> http://mlle.tumblr.com/post/242758897/yayz




for edrie 'surgically bein repaired today' broken toy. a poem/piece we wrote togevva
>> http://poetesss.tumblr.com/post/242811504/edrie

zombie livejournal limps back into ac-shun!
or rather, it's alive! live footage of me! moving!

Chelsea Spear (vintage vivant, film fatale, new friend) filmed me for her adorable documentary on journal-keeping, "Lock and Key." (i know. i know guys, no such thing as coincidences) i believe my (personal) myspace brought us together of all things, i have "journalling in red ink. in purse journals" as interests. the internet truly is a wondrous thing. you get to see my writing desk, a very kindergarten-esque journal or two, my shelves/archives of notebooks and hear my muppet-self talk about my creative process...as a creative process. autoreferential echo chamber of therapeutic autoreferentiality. i'm a reference librarian. for myself. yup. /journalnerd


i'm honoured to have uttered what became the doc's closing lines. sorry i talk like slow/lispy hippy.


and in less touchy feely but no less art fag news, i have my 2nd (albeit incriminating) silent cameo in Rob "Roadsteamer" Potylo's newest web comedy series, Quiet Desperation. (http://www.quietd.com) i was in ep X a while back being a goth kid mehran made fun of at the cloud club, and now i'm back in my sycophant hanger-on "here i am again!" notgoth goth chick role i accidentally made a recurring thing. ok not entirely silent, i squeal at one point- you get to see my neck get mouth-raped by a cowboy named Ira. i also emerge from the kitchen with a coffee table book of clothed and nude portraits of adult film actors. and for the record, kevin & mr. "rear admiral" are PANTSLESS in the last shot. let me get a screencap to illustrate their scandalous victorian bare knees! i also like that kev is being made fun of for his HUMANWINE shirt by jay the metal guy in all the party hallway scenes. (this is how i spent my halloween, filming this in the afternoon, though i'm not supposed to say that. it sure looks like night! and boy was it early to be that surrounded by debauch) also, Brandeis for the win, my classmate (from back in the days of undergrad poetry workshops and harassing the improv boys) Josh Gondelman stars in this episode with some bitchin' slam verse. my life is an omelet folding over onto itself. i love it. boston is wee. comedia brings us (all back) together.

welcome to perhaps the biggest blog entry i've ever written. it took me from tuesday to now to finish furnishing it with an ungodly amount of photos i dare not even count. feel free to rush through and click pictures. lick links. and maybe come back and read at your own fancy/pace!



i was interviewed for chelsea spear's documentary on journal-keeping last thurs, titled, i shit you not (there are no such thing as coincidences in the universe!) "Lock & Key." i started to write a tumble log about it, but that ampersand destroyed my mobile post i wrote while sitting on my JetBlue flight waiting to go home to DC last weekend (for to be celebrated with the festivities for my 25th bday, which was 10/20 hooray!)

so there are two things spurring my hopefully triumphant return to the blogosphere.
1. being the documentary - it really got me talking about what it means to me to be an auto-archivist and constant writer. and chelsea asked me what role blogging had in the life of such an avid paper-journaler as i. well i started talking about my blogger's block instead mostly! and how the dissipation of a livejournal community and the ease of twitter and the...Diaspora (for lack of a better word) that comes with the ease and overwhelming constant-updates of sites like facebrain, well that and a really busy school life, part time jobs, performance schedule and making a new home and growing my soul and spinning my future out of cobwebs and thin air while trying not to look down and notice i don't have a net or even a visible tight rope beneath me...well point being i told chelsea that opening the door to honest admittance of my blogger's block was the only way to get through it! so here i am, i have not been writing because i've been a bit daunted by...the pace of my own real life (i have so much to tell, and part 2 will elucidate hopefully) and the speed of the internet itself. it's not that i fear my blog will be lost in the vast desert/culture thereof, it's just that the internet seems to move through a sieve exponentially quicker and quicker. an undertow of retweeting and linking and oh me oh my, it gets overwhelming. i have said enough. on to prompt the second!


i am the bday fairy! with my flying monkeys (complete with the movie's orchestral creepy THEME playing from the card) this weekend at the party my sister threw me.

2. i are an old bag! tuesday 10/20 i turned halfway to fifty years old. as someone whose beautiful mother had her at 40, fifty has always seemed magical. and as young as a spring chicken, yet! my sister turned 30 this year and she wants me to know it only gets better. and my life has always been better than the year prior. i am again in that mindset and reality where every day is the best day of my life. even when it's grumpymaking. because i'm building/experiencing/being a dirty hippy rambling here. yup. so in honour of my amazing life-filled year of life betwixt last c'october and this, i thought i'd re-emerge with an EPIC blog with the greatest things from 08-09 that made turning 25 so hopeful/eventful and a source of pride. everything i've accomplished in a quarter century. my late grandfather's lady love (my adoptive grandmother) is 102, and my mother is ageless, so i guess i have a kind of charmed opinion on aging...is this at all coherent? oh well i'm trying to be less judgmental of myself with blogging so that it, you know, happens. enough metablogging vomiting! onward!

40ish pix? enter if you dare
( my carniexistence c'october 2008 - oct. 2009 )

i am in desperate need of blogging. but when i think about the perfect-epic-ketchup blog i get too daunted to do it at all- and this is silly, for i am the on-the-spot stripping $1 poeming sonneteer! (*ahem flickr) i make 1st drafts my pets and beloveds. so where's that rough draft open-mindedness when it comes to blogging, lady-self? sheesh. perfectionism.



ok, in short...i have a new attic/boudoir/Lost Boys treehouse/opium den slash 2nd floor apt. (we moved in the 1st of c'august) the kitchen floors are uneven so as kevin put it, "it makes me feel like i'm walking in a pirate ship! which is great!" we also got a new kitten, the lovely creature Lola >> Alma Mahler >> Mahler(cat) that Katrina Galore foster mommy'd and raised these past three months. we couldn't adopt her until we moved, and i am in heaven. she is a complete terror and utter sweetheart. all i know is for the first time in my catowning lifetime, even though she is a friggin' KITTEN- i have not had to clean up any cat bodily products once since we got her. i feel like i won the pet lottery. claw away, jerkitten. oh, new home! new little family! (i have not had a cat in my life for a couple years, and this is my first non-childhood pet) i spose on a larger scale i am recreating kind of my childhood playroom feel in this space- cheaper than my prior studio and three times as spacious! there is a circus/stage wall being put up (again), a bed made from two double beds in the works (monsterbed), and my heart purses and stegosaurus backpacks are hanging on my keyhole'd dresser. i also curb-shopped an old travel trunk/treasure chest that i'm going to clean and keep out for burlesquery-wear (a costume trunk! truly!) in the bedroom. i'm definitely going with the "playing house" theme, cos' it's pretty intense realizing this is my first grown up home!

my 20 year old volvo is being turned in for the cash-for-clunkers program. (it's bluebook value is less than 1k, this is really good news for me- as it alas falling apart before mein very eyes/yeux) yes, the blue vagu will soon be reincarnated in my heart, in any case- as a 'sage green' 2010 subaru forester. whoaman. i test drive the one i want (that just got to the lot) tomorrow. i may have it in a week when i finish w/ guv'ment paperworks. it is going to be such a cruel tease to drive an all-wheel drive vehicle when my car stalls 3x before it starts these days >_< but i am a vulvalution proponent FOR LIFE- so i intend to pry the volvo emblems off the car and affix them where they'd be on a volvo wagon on the forester- so it'll be a volvo subaru (or as i am learning at my jobjob-- a "sub'" pronounced "soob" as the cool kids say). and i will continue to operate with great kindness and kindred to OG pre-Fordownership-changeroo volvos still rusting/rocking the roads.

and i cut off my hair. fo' realz. barely any black left! after 2 years >> see? hilariously this mod/Louise Brooksesque ear/rings+dread reavealing doo makes me simultaneously far more (i think--) classy and yet inspires really ridiculous hippymamma and polyester strange ensemebles.
army of toys performed at Nick's in worcester last sat - we drank lots of complimentary-for-performers legit delicious hardcore ohmygosh absinthe (picture be-low) and i should have woken up disoriented to the maxorz saying things like, "where's all my hair?! where am i! why is there a cat! where's my car! this is not my beautiful life/wife..." seriously. so much happening. and i need to do a proper schoolings/burlesque poetess update. but i guess this is my gift to you LJ f(r)iends. i've been catching up on bethany_eowyn to-night, so i felt inspired.



other straggling update-thoughts! as the photo booth pictures reveal- i inherited my mum's OG model macbook! woo! 2nd free mac. and i made that powerbook last since 05. are we sensing a theme? anyhoo. more importantly edrie and i are now axually under a mile-apart neighbours! yay drunk walks out of the ravine of my house! yay! she is so sweet and is using this old pic from last summer as her fb profile right now. and at mr. sickert's behest we went to Crane Beach in Ipswich yesterday- he was in the water for 2 solid hours like the crazy circus polar bear born on a houseboat seasquid he is. both of our dreads(ets) got good and salty/tight from the swimmin! more beach trips this week- i can't believe i waited til august to get my swim on. sheesh. ok, that's all i got. i'm still putting poems on my >> poetesss tumblr
& my bum(s)/mug on @poetesss twatpic
and peeks/pictures/niblets on the mlle.tumblr

but believe it or not, i miss you el jay. good night for now.
if you want my new address leave a comment. maybe a choc. mint too! lets'bepenpals.

retrospective/active edit: this became a kind of real update of sprawl/photo epic proportions, whoops. beware ABUSIVE use of the "slash" (/) character for "poetic reasons."


my badass mentor and that day of workshop's NONO word-list. no, poets, just say no.

so much has happened/is happening!
my interweb-existence has catapulted into silly/fabulous proportions
since the amanda palmer/secretwitter concert a few weeks back.
immediately followed by my 10 day (last semester
before being a -graduating- student) MFA program residency.
for my thesis semester i am working with "the Bowie of the poetry world"
in terms of silver clog-wearing punk rock/born-in-DC (like myself), her badassness, Cate Marvin.
she's gonig to kick my ass in terms of form/clarity
and i'm very excited to craft my grad thesis/manuscript with her.
it's going to be an amazing last/blastoff semester. the residency, too, was
crazy/inspiring. i really connected with my cohorts in a way i didn't know we could.
must be the collective/senioritis. and they were all very supportive/excited
to see me bring The Army of Toys to the interdisc. fair as my presentation
(showcasing my "fall in love with strangers" zine for which i interviewed all
performing that day, and the photographeuse, coincedentally, too!)
i'm so lucky. i get to bring the portable carnival/pornival and my Boston-family
to show and tell! for MFA credit! i <3 grad school. well, i made a flyer for the
interdisc. fair, and it/the fair looked like this...






photos (c)Robyn Gesak.

during residency i spent too much time amusing the twitter masses.
they were shameless enablers of my broadcasting myself on ustream;
being silly, telling stories, playing songs, reading poems,
answering queries, dancing around in my boy's underwear/mother's pashmina
and little else save ye tenor ukicorn. thank god
i have a 6 y/o PC and crappy Microsoft LifeCam,
the pixels do offer some modesty!

sorry. fauxstanzas offer a sense of comfort/control that wrap-text
blogging cannot right now. cracked out of my mind with a giant to do list
in my larger-than-normal-for-me current pursejournal compbook alongside
unfinished unicorn watercolour that looks suspiciously like a tarot--
to accompany a gift-poem from the : http://poetesss.tumblr.com lands.
surrounded by art to do's. quite the "to do" of to do lists, this debutante season.

on "recovery Sunday" july 5th i hosted ustream "nightcap with jojo" #2
and the lovely lovely kore joined in and donated beautiful
lines/verisimilitude/her verse to my twitter-viewers-collaboration poem
on the topic of our epic/debaucherous/collective proposterous independence days
celebrations intoxicants. working on it. i think i'll be done by tonight.
i love this new way of sharing with/giving to my burlesque poetess audience.
thank you for joining in, reading, commenting, being a part.
i write gift poems/ghost written love poems/group exercises/collab's/found
and overheard talk poems-- because i want everyone to feel included
in what is often a too interior/solitary sense of poetry. yes, poetry
in the end is a solitary art. but the finished product is hardly the poetess/poet's
anymore thereafter. i think i'm just jumping the gun
being my usually over-flashy-telling-the-end-of-the-story-to-soon self
when i've said, "tell me a topic. i want you to be my muse.
i want to be the one to corrupt you into poetry. fall in love with it.
here, a poem FOR YOU," because all poetry IS FOR YOU. for not me.
( poetry/epiphany/ing )

i think the poet necessarily is a lover to the reader. so i guess
i'm being more transparent about that too. unless i'm being opaque. sure.

the obese-with-upcomings-so-much-joy-to-look-forward-to not-so-skinny skinny:
i am currently furiously working to relearn webpage-makiNerdery
while i put up my new DOMAIN. luckily it's all flooding back and i love
me some firebug/Kompozer/Madame Kama for reteaching me so patiently!
i will mock you all with this news of SECRET DOMAIN
until i finally "go live" when it's right too!
well, anyway, i had a hot-web-tutorial-date with kama on mon. it looked like this...




i like to mismatch-match clash without clashing. and Barnaby cat has HANDS.

moving Aug 1st! Mahlercat-ling adopting ahead! >> http://www.twitpic.com/97zl3
lots of shows to look forward to
burlesque poetess SHOW CALENDAR on myHell blog ---> http://bit.ly/P0gPA

i blame this entry's layout in part on this essay on twitter
in twitter constraint/form that you should read (link via afplj).
>> http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/paul-constant-reviews-twitter/Content?oid=1774875

time to bathe. frolic. pick up my locket/pocketwatch from the watchsmithy. (fo' realz)
xo

cats. on roombas. magic carpets. i think i'm probably watching these b/c i'm a crazy hippy cat lady, but it's also because kev met our future kittenling Lola - soon, "Mahler" cat (Alma Mahler. Mauler. yes. brilliance)-- well he met her to-night at Katrina Galore's. the Toys et mali sastri were there for the director's cut of Bladerunner Roman decadence style lounging noshing wino-ing. annnd, clearly cyborg cats are on my mind by combinationables. ok. watercolour pencils & snickers ice crem bars call to me. go watch the be-low.


for when your kitchen is infested with kittens. "they probably think that's their mother." -kevs


this cat is so docile. it's like "i don't know why i'm moving, but i'm into it." not even phased when it gets knocked into the potty.

yes. i am awake on a fri. night in good hazy company dying over these.

edrie & Dr. Mo/Who sunday at amanda palmer's secretwatter (concert) read on!

*
i am keeping an 'update' window open throughout my day of grad school homework, burlesque poetess buis-nesss, ftp muckery, (mockery? halp! i am a phony internet guru of xhtml xxx stylings!) learning 'soul love' on the ukicorn... last night kev jammed on his 3 string cigtar with me, so i officially can move on from 'five years' now that it 'plays well with others' fait accompli! i am plotting the resurrection of my secret fantasy pipe dream all girl bowie cover band, "rainb0wie" named after my ollld screename! (you don't want to know how much time i just wasted looking for a photo i know i have somewhere of bowie in a rainbow-print jumpsuit from the pre-aladdin days) in the process of playing on my 03 dell laptopdinosaur i unearthed all these photos from 04 dresden dolls shows. aww.

my 10 day creative writing MFA residency begins this friday eve. let the BYOB mentor conferences commence! oh yeah, drunken poet laureate cohorts! damm it feels good to be a grad-ster. ok, shutting up. i just finished hand-numbering my current pursejournal composition notebook. i'm on page 77. i've been writing in it since may 13th? this is a wonder for me. normal-sized paper i float in the middle of the wide-ruled lines. it makes me feel like i'm weaning off of my psycho killer handwriting...just a bit. behold meta journalling. analog atop tumble log.



i'm also working backwards in it, in the back of the journal going in reverse one can find: driving directions, uke chord charts, army of toys songs (i think i'm the first person to tab these for uke, haha) and poem request-lists from VT and the super!secret amanda palmer twatter concert from this past sunday, june 14th. very exciting opportunity little me could not have imagined would happen, considering i started this burlesque mess only in nov07. gosh. the power of twitter? 48 hours after the concert my twitter (cult) following # had equal'd & surpassed my myspace of a year+. yeah go team interweb networking! here i am being awkward pretending i could hide my nakedness behind my tenor uke if need be (to twitpic? tee)






LP cover caliber epic picture!

>> ( read on for concert pictures, contortionist bard circus posters, grad school silly, calendrical plots, upcoming KITTEN and upcoming move thoughts. )
i'm a happy/exhausted/soon to not exist camper. i will probably only be on twatter if that during my 10 day (and last one before my graduating semester!) residency the 19th through the 27th. i wanted to give you an epic blog before then!

wee calendar!
june 24th: 1030pm (most likely) i'll be joining Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken Toys on WMFO.org 91.5 FM's "on the town" playing musics this time!
june 27th: 8pm, saturdee, the last day of my residency - Army of Toys at middle east upstairs. last time i joined them on stage i was a bunny and kama ended up face first in my lap ;) this time! different! i believe 18+ and avec Garvy J, Fluttreffect, and Mascara.

ok be well, talk soon, merch news en route, and i'll see you on twatter! xojojo, your @poetesss

my soon-to-be-replaced site
keyring : http://mlle.weebly.com